![]() I could feel the fear that exuded from her and that fear was contagious. But I took it nonetheless, because how do you ignore a plea from family? How do you think you'll lose? My sister sat there, her leg jittering and eyes raced between me, the judge, and the jury. This case was too personal and cracked my peace of mind. I had fought on the side of the defendants for years, each case I won boosted my confidence and set me apart from the other defense attorneys, to a point that thousands of potential clients sought me out. Yes, I fought for the criminal, but they had to see that not everyone is evil. To present a diagnosis and pray they understood and accepted the terms and conditions for an antidote. It was routine and it was my job to change their minds. I was back in the large dusty room where my mind decided to finally break.Ī court room full of a jury with the same condition: glued eyes and closed ears set on what they were told, not on what was true. And although I could feel my wife’s hand grip my own, and her words trying to beckon me back to our bedroom, I couldn’t return. Do you see how frustrating that is? I tried… but I… failed… how could I fail?” I noticed my heart rate pick up and beat violently, I saw the memories of a year ago begin to play out vividly in front of me, as though I stood there again, front row to my mistakes. “Yes,” I sighed, hating that my night terrors were doing this to her. ![]()
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